the positive use of negative emotions

Yesterday, in session with a client (let’s call her Deb), we found out how we can use negative emotions for positive action! It's actually quite simple.

First you must become aware of the emotion and name it. For Deb, it was fear of losing her spouse. Then you must allow yourself to feel this emotion instead of running away from it. Once Deb became aware of the fear and allowed herself to feel it, she was able to hear what this fear was urging her to do. And then you must ask yourself: What can I do today, in order to prevent that which I fear from happening? For Deb it translated into bringing flowers and showing her wife daily how much she matters to her.  

We do not have to be at the mercy of our feelings! We're in charge of them. But when we block our ability to feel, we become helpless recipients and powerless victims of our emotions.

Not knowing what you feel keeps you at the mercy of your emotions. Because you cannot be in charge of emotions whose presence you don't even recognize. Ignoring or suppressing them only makes things worse—postponing the blow while also creating illness. Suppressed, unrecognized, unexpressed and unprocessed emotions are the real cause for depression and violence.

Feelings are guides. Even negative emotions have the ability to show us the way to a positive action.

The positive expression of negative feelings is an art form. It requires five things:

·      Focused attention—to help you recognize the existence of your emotion.

·      Awareness of what you feel.

·      Honesty—to name the emotion and acknowledge its presence.

·      Listening to the message that the emotion brings.

·      Taking action, now—in order to create a positive use of the negative emotion.

Undivided, focused attention leads to awareness. It is the awareness that brings insight. It's the honesty that brings healing. (Truth always heals.) It’s the listening that shows the way. And it's the conscious action that manifests a new outcome and brings desired change.

Feelings are messengers. They are your friends, even the dreaded negative ones.

You don’t become a positive person by avoiding or rejecting your negative feelings, but by listening to them and discovering the positive action they urge you to take.

Negative emotions are simply part of a sophisticated alarm system. They are here to tell us that something is off and to urge us to pay attention, make a new decision, and create a new reality by taking a new action. They are the guardians of change.

Negative emotions have a bad reputation. It’s true that they can cause damage—when we hold onto them. But ignoring the warnings of your negative emotions and only allowing yourself to feel positive ones, can also be damaging—because you’ll deprive yourself from the valuable insights and wise guidance of the negative emotions.

When you reject your negative emotions, you reject part of you that you don't like. It's essential to honor and accept all of you, including the emotions you perceive as negative. There are no negative emotions. Your negative opinion of them makes them negative. All emotions are natural and they are here to serve your highest good. Learn how to harvest their wisdom and you will be on your way to some serious empowerment!

Previous
Previous

the true purpose of relationships

Next
Next

the courage to be fully you!