is leadership a role?
A friend and a fellow Circling facilitator recently shared that when he's leading he cannot be himself. He thinks that being a leader is a role. I did not want to begin a dispute, so I said nothing—even though something in this statement did not land as true for me.
In the next few days, I continued thinking of what he said, so I decided to explore the topic and find out what it is for me to be a facilitator and a community leader.
So here is what feels true for me: being a leader is NOT a role.
In fact, while Circling, I become more of who I am. I am less guarded, more real, more honest and more attuned to what is true for me in each moment. I am more loving and more accepting—of others and of myself.
I am certainly less judgmental. I am more compassionate, more patient and deeply rooted into my heart. I feel more alive, energized and fulfilled.
As a leader I am more visible and often more vulnerable than anyone else in the room. I feel almost naked as I show up honestly transparent, open and defenseless while also holding space for everyone else.
Facilitating for others transforms me. I'm growing tremendously when I’m being present and available to others. It comes from the level of my engagement and attention. It’s a result of listening so deeply that it helps me comprehend what the other is feeling or going through. That profound understanding often transforms their experience, but it also begins to change me.
I lead and I follow, simultaneously. I facilitate and I grow at he same time. I am the teacher and I am also the student. I am the observer and the participant. I am giving and I am receiving, in equal measure. I am open to the flow of life and to the beauty of each moment, without placing any pre-conceived expectations or requirements, and without being attached to a specific outcome. I relax in the natural flow of each moment blending into the next.
I believe we are here to learn how to love.
Each time I lead a circle I am becoming better at loving. And each time I'm closer to my true nature. Each time I am more aligned with who I am.
resistance vs. allowing
There is a big difference between pushing against what you don’t want (resistance) and going in the direction of what you do want (flow).
This is a vibrational universe. When you vibrate in positive ways, it causes you to be in harmony with your Eternal Self. There is no resistance. When you are in a state of no resistance, you allow solutions to flow to you.
You are either in a state of resistance or in a state of allowing. Your emotions will tell you where you are: they reflect the physical vibration that you hold.
When you feel negative emotions (fear, doubt, anger, guilt, loneliness, frustration) this means you are focused on something you do not want. You are in resistance. When you are angry, you are fighting something, you want to change something, you want to control something (or someone) who doesn’t behave as you wish…
Every time you are in a state of resistance, you are preventing the very thing you want.
When you are praising or appreciating something; when you are acknowledging the value of something; when you look for positive aspects; when you are smiling, laughing, applauding, appreciating; when you are feeling joy, health and well being—there is no resistance in you. In these moments you are in vibrational harmony with who you really are. You are in flow.
Deliberate creation is about focusing on something that allows you to be in alignment with who you really are even when you are in the midst of negative experiences!
When you are focused on the solution, you are a vibrational match to the solution.
You cannot focus on a problem and be a vibrational match to the solution. The key is to focus in a way that you are feeling positive emotion because this positive emotion is the indicator that you are holding a thought, which is not resisting. When you are not resisting, you are allowing the creating of what you want.
Resistance is the thoughts you are thinking that do not match the vibration of what you want. That’s why the thoughts feel negative to you—they don’t match who you are! So when you feel anger, fear, doubt—remember that they point to what you want, and look for it.
Ask yourself: are the thoughts I’m currently thinking (the words I am speaking or the actions I am taking) an aspect of resistance, or an aspect of allowing and going in the direction I prefer?
Make this a practice and you will begin to see positive changes in your life.
Creating Connection: a weekend intensive with Guy Sengstock and Gina Brezini
I am excited to announce the CREATING CONNECTION Circling Immersion on September 30 – October 1, 2017 in Washington D.C.
What makes this event extra-special is that Guy Sengstock, a founder of The Circling Institute in San Francisco, will be joining us for this weekend. This is a rare chance to be in his presence and to experience his masterful approach.
WHO IS THIS FOR:
1. If you are ready to invite change, willing to create deeper connection with yourself and others, or wanting to enjoy more fulfilling relationships—you will benefit from this weekend.
2. If you are a coach, a therapist or a practitioner of any kind—you want to participate. This is the first step towards the training program that The Circling Institute offers, and we are bringing it here, on the East Coast! It is designed to improve your skills in working with groups, expand your influence as a facilitator and make a bigger difference in the lives you touch.
3. If you are professional who works with people in any profession, you will benefit tremendously from this weekend. The skills you learn can help you interact effectively with colleagues and supervisors in organizations, navigate the board room and office politics, or ace job interviews.
Whether you come for your own growth or with the intention to expand your facilitator skills, I am convinced that attending this event will be memorable. I trust that you’ll get a lot of value from it: in one weekend you could release old traumas, learn new ways of communicating, interrupt stubborn patterns and begin to transform your relationships, including the one you are currently in.
YOU WILL LEARN AND PRACTICE TO:
Manifest more of what you desire in your life
Let another into your heart without giving up your own Self
Express with more clarity and create real connection in all your relationships
Develop inner strength as you expand your ability to establish clear and consistent boundaries without being harsh
Experience a new way to see, to be, and to receive love instead of going after it in a way that doesn’t work
Have a bigger impact as you become who you are meant to be
If this is of interest to you, get more info HERE and grab your spot now!
If you are willing to take a deep look inside and allow an inner shift to transcend the aspects that have been holding you back, here is a special invitation for you:
Join us for a weekend of a life-changing self-exploration and relational transformation on September 30 – October 1, 2017 in Washington D.C.
You’ll see results in all your relationships almost immediately.
REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS NOT ABOUT LOOKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT, BUT ABOUT ALLOWING IT TO HAPPEN.
So take the next step and reserve your place NOW
In loving,
Gina Brezini
14 dating tips for women
If you are like me, you’ve already been through a marriage or two, have experienced a few heartbreaks and relationship disappointments, and may find yourself hesitant to open up fully and risk getting hurt (again).
Recently I moved to a new state and separated from a man with whom I was compatible and whom I loved deeply. Long-distance relationship is not for me—I want a man’s attention in real time.
Feeling lonely after the break up, I decided to try dating online. As I read through the profiles of the hundreds men who approached me, I began to notice common themes. Some have written extensive descriptions for the ladies, telling them what not to do. Others outlined clearly what is important for them. And then, there were the classic one-liners. As I kept reading, I noticed that underneath the seemingly surface requirements transpired deeper stuff.
Based on my latest interactions with men in search of a partner, and what I’ve learned in 15 years of researching and decoding men’s behavior, I am offering a few insights, which I trust can help women to understand men a bit more and approach dating differently.
I know it could be really frustrating to be out there—looking for love. It may feel like there’s lots of competition and players who may leave you feeling flawed, used and heartbroken. But I believe that with some inner work and a few adjustments, you too could have the amazing relationship that you desire and deserve.
My recent online experiences and observations lead me to believe that the big problem in today’s internet dating is that both men and women enter a dating site as if it’s a battle field—expecting an enemy to show up. Both seem shielded, armed, and ready to defend themselves.
Living in times of no defined roles, no clear rules, and no firm boundaries, we seem to be afraid of each other and expect to get hurt.
But this is the worst thing we can do when looking for love and intimacy. Love and intimacy require showing up without armor. They require trust. They require openness.
Intimacy comes from taking emotional risks. But in today’s dating this seems difficult to do—because navigating online waters feels dangerous for most of us.
In the first part of this article I outlined a few dating tips for men. Here I offer some insights geared towards mature women dating online. Yet I believe they could really be of service to anyone.
1. Sex is not the only thing a man wants. Yes, it is high on his list (and perhaps on yours too), but today’s man wants more. Like you, he wants connection. Like you, he wants to feel safe. Like you, he wants a partner he can trust and rely on. Like you, he wants to be valued, respected and loved. Like you, he wants to feel special, desired and important. Like you, he wants to grow and contribute—and he is aware that it’s more fun, and more possible to do it with you. Like you, he wants to live to his full potential and show up at his best.
2. Help him to begin, and keep the conversation going. Most men feel quite vulnerable when they approach a woman they like. And most men have no clue how to do it.
Most men feel threatened when they have to reveal something about themselves. Men are trained to cover their traces—they are warriors or hunters. Understanding this can inspire you to be more creative and more compassionate when he attempts to begin a conversation.
Your job is to create emotional safety for him, just as he is creating safety for you by revealing who he is. Most men are helpless when it comes to conversations with women. Help him and he will be grateful for it. This will separate you from the rest and he will begin to open up to you in the way you’re longing for him to open up.
3. Have your boundaries in place. It’s easier to feel safe and make better choices when you know exactly what you want. Learn to say no without feeling guilty. Then your yes will be more real, too.
4. Select a man who is willing to make you happy. I know women who choose a man solely by height or age. Later on they may wonder why their more important needs are unmet in the relationship. I’m not an exception—I too want to be with a man who looks good. But I learned to choose what matters most to me. I now prioritize a man who shares my values and helps me fulfill my deepest human needs.
So don’t always go for chemistry at first glance. Allow yourself to be surprised. Go out with men who aren’t your type. Your type might be the very reason you are still on the dating sites.
5. Figure out why you want a relationship and why you want this man. You decide what you want a man for—to impress your girlfriends with his looks, or to experience real romance and feel cherished as you blossom into your full feminine glory under the gaze of an attentive man who is present for you. A man who is willing and able to make you happy. A man who loves you and values you for who you are.
Of course, creating this kind of connection requires some skills. You must reveal to him who you are in a way that is engaging and authentic. Authenticity is attractive.
6. Help him to relax and he will adore you for it. Notice and appreciate his efforts. Understand that this is not easy for him. Trust that he means well. Believe that he wants to make you happy. Show him how you like to be romanced. Appreciate what he provides for you.
7. Don’t judge him, inspire him. Inspire him to be his best Self and he will want to spend the rest of his life loving you.
8. Give him a chance. Give yourself a chance. Give love a chance. Because the reality is that if you spend enough time with him and you get to really know him, you will love him.
So choose a man who is willing to make you happy. Choose a man who is willing to grow with you. Choose a man who is willing to give to you—his attention, his presence, his affection, his understanding, his time, his words, his heart. Choose a man who will love and appreciate you as you are, for who you are.
This requires transparency and taking a risk or two. So call me if you want to learn the most effective ways to do this.
9. Make it a real life experience rather than a “safe” head trip. Take it out of the dating site as soon as possible and agree to meet him before you get too deep into correspondence that may easily lead to fantasies.
10. Listen to learn instead of listen to answer. Even if you don’t feel attracted to him, you can learn something from him. You can learn what it is that you don’t like. You can learn what triggers you. You can learn what you want in a relationship, and what you don’t want.
11. Show your appreciation. Thank him. Thank him for liking you in the first place. Thank him for taking the chance to meet with you. It is a big deal for him! Thank him for the time he spent with you, for the lessons, for the generosity of teaching you about you.
12. Make new choices. Choose to be open. Choose to be kind. Choose to be the woman in the relationship. Choose to allow him to be the man. Choose to look for what’s good about him, and not—what’s not enough for you. Choose kindness over perfection. Choose how you want to feel rather than how you look with him next to you.
13. Let go of the desire to control. Remain in the feminine and let him be the man. Let him approach you, make suggestions, plan your dates, and offer to nurture you. When you let him choose the places and dates, you will learn about him and who he is. Then you can decide if he is for you or not.
14. Find out what he really wants. You may think it’s sex. And that’s hopefully there. But behind his desire for sex, there is a deeper need—the need for human connection. The need to feel that he matters. The need to know that he is safe with you, that you have his back. And perhaps the even bigger need to access divine realms through you, with you. Because, you my dear, are the holly gateway to the Divine, and a man can only access it through you.
Some of the most common beliefs my women clients share tend to create unconscious barriers to attracting a great man and experiencing true love. My heart aches for all the men and women longing for love, for touch, for connection, for romance and deep intimacy, but get lost at sea—the sea of endless dating and chasing the illusion of perfection.
Think about how strong our need for love and connection is if we all jump into the infested waters of dating despite our fears of getting hurt.
Perfection is found when we say: “This is enough. I will give this person a chance. I will look at what’s right with this person, not what’s wrong.” Because when we share our life, and our true Self with another, we feel truly happy, more fulfilled and more alive.
published in Elephant Journal: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/08/14-powerful-dating-tips-for-women-before-they-swipe-right/
10 tips for men dating online
Last week I joined a dating site. I’m not beautiful. I’m not young. I did not post my most stunning photos. I did not sing praise to how amazingly accomplished I am. I did not list tons of interests and activities I enjoy. And yet, in the few hours that followed, over 500 men had expressed their desire to meet me.
I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time. I was either in a relationship, or healing from it. I refused to join the internet dating madness. I believed that I will meet the man who belongs in my life without electronic interactions. And I did. But then I moved to a new city and I felt increasingly lonely and longing for a man’s presence in my life. So I decided to try a dating site.
There is much I am noticing about dating online.
The first thing I discovered was that so many men are hungry for woman’s attention, human warmth, intimacy and romance. I was surprised by the amount of men specifying that they are looking for a relationship, and not just dating.
The next shock was that men are interested in women over 40. The myth that there are no men in their 40s and 50s who are available and interested in a woman my age, evaporated within minutes of being on this site.
I also realized how clueless we all are in the art of connection, internet interaction and romance.
Inspired by my online experiences, I’ll share some tips for men:
1. Please introduce yourself when you approach a woman for the first time. Only two men out of the hundreds that contacted me stated their name, signed their note or said a few words about themselves. Women feel safe when you introduce yourself—and safety is important for a woman. Especially in this kind of forum.
2. Writing “hi beautiful” doesn’t work. There is not an easy way to respond to this, much less—to make a conversation out of it.
Meeting on a dating site leaves out the information that all of our senses could provide if we were to meet in person—voice, body language, the way we speak or look at each other, the ease with which we communicate. In other words—the exchange of live energy between us. In the digital dating world, a “hi” simply doesn’t cut it.
3. Make it easy for her to respond. What you want is a response from her. What she wants is a dialogue. Women love conversation. The easiest way to start a conversation is to be interested in her. Women love attention.
Show attention by asking her about something she cares about. This means that you must read her profile and notice a few things you can ask about. She probably left clues all over the place—to make it easy for you to pick up a conversation.
4. Be a good listener. What you call “her laundry list” is a simple way for her to show you what to talk about. She is testing you---to see if you’re paying attention. She doesn’t necessarily expect you to do these things with her. She hopes that you listen and that you are sensitive enough to pick up what matters to her and begin a conversation about it. So if she’s written: “I love yoga”, ask her about that!
She’d be impressed that you went beyond looking at her pictures and actually took the time to read what she says. This tells her that you are interested in who she is. She may conclude that you possess the most valuable skill for a successful relationship—the ability to listen.
She leaves clues for the hunter in you, so pick them up and start following them. Give her a reason to choose you over all men that are after her!
5. Leave a hook. Usually that’s a question that’s easy for her to reply to. Keep the flow going. Your job is to begin. She will follow.
6. Provide safety for her by revealing something about yourself. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of this one. The more she gets to know you—the safer she will feel. I know that this might be uncomfortable for most men, but that creates safety for a woman.
She doesn’t know who you are and if she could trust you yet. Just like you don’t know if she’d reject you. You both take a risk: she risks her safety; you risk hearing “no”.
7. First dates. A coffee date seems to be the norm now. It’s sensible—saving money and time by presenting an opportunity to reject each other in the course of 5 minutes. But it’s also boring. There is nothing memorable about it. It’s well known that attraction shows up more easily when you are taken out of your comfort zone and have the adrenaline pumping.
You don’t have to bungee jump in order to create impact, but it’s proven that some of the greatest attraction happens when you share a special experience. Create it.
8. A date doesn’t have to be expensive in order to be memorable. Please use your imagination and offer something you really like doing. Then include her in it. Invite her for a walk, or a bike ride—if you both like that. Meet her on the tennis court if she likes tennis. Show her a museum you like, where you can shine with your knowledge. She’ll be ignited by hearing you talk about something you are knowledgeable or passionate about.
When you choose a place to meet, think of what you like as well, and what would make you feel confident and happy. Meet her in a park. Walk the labyrinth downtown. See a historic building together. Meet at a bookstore if you like books. You’ll discover a lot about her just by observing what she’s drawn to. A book you encounter is a great way to strike a meaningful conversation and to get to know each other in a fun way.
What do you like and would enjoy, even if you aren’t attracted to her?
9. If you want to win with her, help her feel good about herself. If you can help her feel good about herself, chances are she’d reciprocate. A woman feels good when she is seen and heard. To do this—pay continuous attention to her, listen to what she has to say, and be fully present. And as time goes by and your connection deepens, she will trust you, respect you, love you, and choose you over every other man.
10. Don’t get caught in the not enough game. When you meet a woman who excites you, stop looking for more. See what’s good about what you have and start loving it. Enjoy her. Cherish her. Love her. Appreciate her. Call her your own.
Allow yourself to have, not just to search. Know when to stop looking for that illusive perfection. You might be surprised how easy it is to be happy when you say “this is enough”.
Notice when you get caught in the nets of the addiction of fishing for a better fish. Looking for the perfect woman can leave you lonely and unfulfilled. Because the real fulfillment comes from opening up to be understood and allowing yourself to love and to be loved.
When you share yourself with another (imperfect) human being, you will feel more alive, happier and more fulfilled—because you have shared your life, and your Self with another. Let her enter your life and your heart, even if she does not cover all your requirements for perfection.
See the article in The Elephant Journal HERE
See the article in The Good Men Project HERE.
death's message
A talented collegue and long-time friend who is very dear to my heart has decided to leave this earth. I feel sad. I feel raw. I feel devastated. I also feel many other emotions.
But one thing that is louder than anything else is my desire to say to all of you, through the tears:
Please don’t wait for permission to love. Please don’t wait till later to share yourself. That later may never come…
Perhaps that’s how Death is part of Life—not as an end, but as a reminder. A reminder to love NOW, to live NOW, to go out of our way and spend time with those we value and care about. To cherish THIS MOMENT. Because it might be our last…
To share ourselves fully, fearlessly, feverishly, and without limiting ourselves. To tell those we love that we love them. To get emotionally and physically naked for those who are important to us.
To dance until our muscles ache and our bones sing. To laugh until our belly hurts and our throat is dry. To remember that we are divine. To remember that we are alive. To remember that we are here to love. And that the time we have, might be as short as a heartbeat.
Farewell, George. I'll miss you.
True Power Comes From Presence
True power comes from being present. It comes from being authentic. It comes from feeling all your feelings, experiencing your emotions fully, and expressing authentically—without judging yourself.
This doesn’t mean that you shout at people when you feel angry. It doesn’t mean that you blame others for what happens to you. It doesn’t mean that you keep yourself in a position of a victim, just because you think this makes you right. It doesn’t mean you are entitled to complain and burden everyone around you with what you are unhappy about. It doesn’t mean you indulge in endless self-pity that keeps you powerless.
Let me make it clear:
anything that is not love is unauthentic. Period.
That includes your judgments (especially your judgments!)—of yourself and others. It also includes blaming others and feeling sorry for yourself.
Anything that puts you back into the Loving is what I call Authentic. Love is your Power.
Anything that keeps you in fear, prompts you to act defensively or keeps you stuck in negative emotions, is unauthentic.
Fear, anger, shame, desire to control, blame, judgments (especially judgments!) are just some of the gooey stuff that have layered themselves over the essence of who you are. These are the shields that keep you imprisoned, under the pretext of keeping you safe. You might think that they protect you from getting hurt, but in reality, they hold you back from coming out, and stepping into your power.
What I want for each one of you is to scrub yourself clean and show up as you truly are. I want you to shine as brightly as possible. Now.
after the circling immersion weekend
As many of you know, we just finished another 2 ½-day Circling Immersion. This weekend we had one couple, a few amazing men, and a bunch of extraordinary women. By the end of Sunday, we witnessed visible shifts, the birth of new perspectives, and the possibilities for new ways of being and communicating.
We all experienced deeper understanding of ourselves and each other, and feeling closer to one another. We began as strangers and ended up as close friends. As we discovered so much in common, we stopped feeling isolated and alone in our pain, creating space for hope, comfort and joy, and finding answers.
I feel grateful for the privilege to do this sacred work and to guide people to places of deeper understanding, transformation and love.
To all of you who dedicated this weekend to growing, sharing and learning new relational skills – thank you!
This weekend wouldn’t have been possible without you and your willingness to show up for yourself, so you can enjoy better relationships, have more understanding in your life and see things differently – through lenses more accurate than those of your upbringing, or your current worries and fears…
I bow to your courage, to your strength, to your desire to be the best version of yourself, and to your willingness to create a happier life.
Because the biggest gift we can give to others is to be happy.
loneliness
Loneliness is part of human experience. Most of us avoid it by filling up time with excessive work, going out, sex, drinking, Facebook, Netflix, doing, eating and other addictions.
In short—we avoid feeling lonely by keeping ourselves busy.
I personally believe that loneliness, like most things that are present in our lives, is here to guide us. Loneliness points to our need to connect—with ourselves, with our loving, with other people, and with the Divine.
I’ve felt lonely when surrounded by hundreds of people.
I’ve felt lonely in a marriage, in relationships, or with lovers who were not fully present for me.
And I’ve also felt lonely when by myself—longing for love, for human touch, for attention, for intimacy, for closeness, for sharing.
Loneliness is the longing for love, the desire to connect—perhaps with ourselves.
As one of my teachers insists: If you feel like you miss something, it’s probably YOU.
without internet
Evening. I have just finished the last coaching sessions for the day and I feel complete, useful and deeply fulfilled. I’m in my new home in D.C. I do not have internet yet. And this means that the usual things I do to unwind in some evenings, after finishing work, are not available to me.
Watching a movie. Catching up on Facebook. Reading an interesting article online. Or fussing with my website and creating the newest program for my clients.
No internet. I feel a gap. An interruption of my habits. A hole in the comforts I reach out to, in order to relax.
No internet. Instead I feel. I feel the feelings that are here.
I feel the absence of my lover. I feel my longing to be with him, to hear him talk to me, or make me laugh. I feel the newness of my surroundings and the new pace of my life. I feel the fears in my heart. I feel the sadness of the loss and the anxiety caused by not knowing what’s next.
I feel. Deeply. And I cry. I cry for what’s no longer here. I cry for what is now in the past. I cry, and I feel the relief that comes with the tears.
With no internet to mask the sadness or conceal the feeling of being alone, I am forced to feel the birth of the new beginning.
on self-love
I was sitting this morning with my mother and my sister, having tea in my new living room. I shared a poem by Rumi in which he talks about Self-love. My mother was repulsed. She fervently voiced a familiar belief, with which I myself had wrestled for years, and which I have finally managed to release.
For mom Self-love means being selfish, arrogant and full of oneself. It is totally unacceptable, certainly not desirable, and something that is severely scorned by society, where I come from.
My sister and I tried to explain how we understood Self-love now, but our attempts didn’t seem to impact mom’s belief about it.
In my view, Self-love is the basis for Love, the foundation of all relationships. The more love you have for yourself, the more you can love another, the freer you feel, and the more delicious your life becomes.
However, I imagine that my mother’s view might be far more popular and may hold true for many people, so I’ll offer a short synopsis of what self-love means to me:
Self-love is to take good care of yourself. Eating healthy is self-love. Taking adequate rest and sleeping enough hours is certainly self-love. Exercising in order to maintain a healthy, flexible and strong body, is self-love.
For many people Self-love stops here.
But Loving yourself is also:
To value and accept yourself fully, while you still aim to become the best version of yourself.
To stop judging yourself, even when you don’t reach your high standards.
To NOT beat yourself up when you make a mistake. Or two.
To give yourself a break.
To acknowledge yourself when you do something well, praise yourself for completing something significant, or overcoming yet another challenge.
To release negative emotions, in a healthy way. (Who wants to carry all the negativity around anyway!)
To show compassion for yourself.
To take care of your inner life.
Self-love means being gentle and kind to yourself. It means to acknowledge your virtues and admirable qualities, while also “own” the traits in you that need to evolve.
Self-love means treating yourself with reverence, at all times.
Self-love means to pay attention to your needs and desires. Then find a way to attend to them. While also honoring those of others.
Self-love means comforting yourself when you feel down.
It also means not taking it personally when someone seemingly attacks you.
Self-love means to be on your side—always!!!
To be loved means to be fully known. So to love yourself means to know your Self.
Self-love is to honor all your feelings, by feeling them fully.
Self-love means to believe in yourself and pursue your dreams.
It means not to limit yourself.
Self-love means knowing your value and feeling good in your own skin.
Self-love means asking for help when you need it, saying NO when necessary, and saying YES to yourself.
Self-love means to honor what’s important to you while staying in integrity.
Self-love means to nourish the loving in you.
Self-love is to listen to yourself just as you listen to those who are important to you.
Self-love is to allow yourself to have pleasure and fun.
Self-love is to forgive yourself.
Self-love is to stop scaring yourself and stop dwelling in fear.
Self-love is to support yourself in all you are doing.
Self-love means to allow yourself full authentic expression.
Self-love means to know that you matter. And to live that way.
When we learn to love ourselves, we allow room for others to love us.
I am in love with Love
I am in love with love.
Love is in love with me.
My body fell in love
with my soul
and my soul fell in love
with me.
We take turns in loving.
We take turns in being loved.
~Rumi
to my beloved
I love the way
I feel
when I’m with you:
Safe.
Liked.
Desired.
Dripping wet.
Accepted.
Cared for.
Deeply loved.
For no other reason except being me…
love heals
“I’m with you every moment. I dream of you. I speak with you in my sleep. I love you.”—wrote the one whose love I questioned for years. My father.
This confession pierced through me. I cried. Holy, healing tears.
divine duality
Unlike masculine power, which creates things that can be controlled, feminine power is the power that creates things beyond our control, but which our hearts most deeply long for:
Love, intimacy, spiritual connection, self-expression, creativity, right livelihood, meaningful contribution to the world and a brighter future for generations to come all require the awakening of a co-creative feminine power to bring them forth.
unexpected insight
I thought that sharing a vision will be easy and fun. After all, focusing on the light and positive stuff—the things I desire—should be joyful and easy, right?
It turned out that it wasn’t as breezy as I was expecting it to be.
It was intense for me to speak about my own vision, during yesterday’s Tell-a-Vision Night. It was not easy for me to voice what I wanted—even though I was in the safe environment of my own home, surrounded by people I know and love.
To my surprise, as my desires were shaping into words, I stumbled onto emotions I didn’t expect to find: shame, skepticism and deep disbelief. As I verbalized my vision, the “Yeah, sure!” voice of doubt and mistrust was interrupting loudly.
I felt trapped in sticky beliefs that rushed through my body and announced their presence with loud knots of pain, body tension and inner restrain. I felt the tightness in my pelvis. Fiery waves of Red and unexpected heat flushed over my entire body and suddenly hardened into deeply rooted Shame....
Where did all this come from?!!!—I wondered, baffled, shaken and surprised.
A mysterious bulge in my throat prevented my words from flowing out freely and enthusiastically. The tears of shame and the hopeless attempt to hide it, stopped hesitantly at the rims of my eyes, but remained trapped beneath the painful lump in my throat—unable to release and provide the relief I needed, wanted and hoped for.
It was challenging for me to listen to the opposing voice of doubt, to feel the intense feelings that aroused in me as I was witnessing the very things that have been preventing me from realizing my vision.
This felt like it was centuries old. I sensed the presence of an entire line of women behind me and the vivid sense of deep ancestral pain. The vision of my goal seemed more and more distant and increasingly small. But these women were here, and I was feeling their pain, their shame, their confusion - along with my own...
I'm not sure yet how to clear this, but I imagine that when I do, it will not only resolve my own issues, but it will also release something that will be healing for all womankind—past and present.
Women's limiting beliefs around finances and well-being differ from those that affect men. It seems that I am assigned the task to transform them for all the women in my family who came before me…
Ooooh, there is so much more to tame, love and understand!
So much more to let go of.
And so much more to allow myself to have…
2016—the year of purification
2016 was important year for me. It was frightening. It was exciting. It was gutsy. In it I gained clarity of purpose, entered territories that I never thought I would dare stepping into, and began building consciously the life I desire and deserve.
I reached out for help when I needed it—even though it wasn’t easy to ask for it. I found real support, expanded my community, experienced myself as deeply loving, and enjoyed being romanced by an amazing man.
I’ve stayed put for an entire year—I did not travel anywhere, even though I repeatedly wanted to. This year I refused to escape.
For me 2016 was a year of acceptance. A year of staying with what is, and embracing it. A year of re-building hope, reviving pleasure and re-connecting with aspects of me I have rejected, abandoned or disowned. A year, in which I learned to accept and love all of me—the good, the bad, and the magnificent.
Perhaps for the first time in my life I felt truly supported, well loved, and without fixed expectations of how things should be.
I've learned to feel safe even when things seemed out of control. I've found serenity in not knowing. I've learned to lean into trust and feel my fears without letting them stop me.
I've discovered new aspects of me that I like and love, and others that I’m not so proud of. I've come to be at peace with them, seeing them as guides who are here to help me make more empowering choices. I’ve discovered that I’m OK just as I am—even when I felt more imperfect than ever…
This year I've stepped into new ventures that were undeniably frightening, seemed risky, and promised nothing but trouble. I did the very things that aroused my deeply rooted fears of being hurt, exposed and humiliated; rejected, abandoned and unloved.
And each time I re-emerged feeling purified, humble, more gentle and certainly more loving. I re-emerged more trusting in me, others and all life’s experiences. And each time I have become more open, more real… more Me.
2016 was a memorable year. The ride was wild. The road steep. The visibility obscured. And yet, it was a great year for me. I am leaving it with a heart full of gratitude, embodied awareness, and a profound sense of fulfillment, wholeness and purpose.
I look forward to 2017 and the blessings that it brings. I am ready to receive them all.
3 secrets for attracting your life partner and making 2017 your best year in love
I know first hand how painful it could be to be single during the holidays—leaving you feeling alone, sad and at times—even unworthy of love.
I used to dread the holidays.
Being an immigrant, I did not have my family here and I remember how painful and lonely it felt when I had nowhere to go and no one with whom to celebrate or share the joys of this time of the year.
I was single again, and New Year’s Eve without romance was even worse than not having Christmas with family. Even at big festive parties, packed with friends, I felt deeply alone, secretly sad, and often lonely.
Perhaps some of you can relate to this.
Now that I’ve had my private practice for few years, I want to help.
I want to invite you to prepare yourself for love, so love can find YOU.
I want to help you make 2017 the most exciting and fulfilling year of your life.
You don’t have to wait till January to start creating changes.
You can begin NOW.
You can take charge of your love life, attract the right man and create the relationship of your dreams.
Imagine yourself next year at this time—radiant and happy, planning exciting new adventures with the man who is your true love and divinely chosen life partner!
If this appeals to you, here is your next step—sign up HERE for my FREE live webinar: 3 Secrets for Attracting Your Life Partner and Making 2017 Your Best Year in Love
Saturday, December 17: 3pm - 4pm EST
Register now: https://zoom.us/meeting/register/928659b381f51c8dcde7dc3c8da9331e
I work with women all over the country and I know I can help!
So if you know women who are ready to stop struggling with attracting, or keeping true love, and are willing to learn how to create a happy love life, please let them know about this free live webinar. You might be giving them the keys to happiness.
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beyond convenience
the tantric symbol of the sacred feminine
I teach people to love. I help people to remember that they are love. I help my clients to reconnect with their heart and soul, and to find their true answers. It saddens me to see my country choosing to be led by a man with outdated values and so little love in his heart.
But I trust that something good will come out of it. Perhaps the blessing is that love will be needed and valued even more. Perhaps more people will hear the call to find their mission and act in alignment with it.
If I remember correctly it was Dalai Lama who said that “the western woman will save the world”. When I first read these words, I thought it might be a specific western woman – a skilled leader, a wise teacher or a healing master of some sort.
Now I know that it’s the collective consciousness of women, the archetype of The Western Woman that could change the world.
She is free, outspoken, independent. Well-educated. Capable. Self-reliant. Deeply aware. Conscious. Spiritual (in touch with her own spirit). Wild. Rebellious. Brave. She requires presence, attention and recognition. She is gentle and kind, yet she commands respect. She is compassionate yet strong. Firmly grounded in her loving.
She is radiant and joyful, but she values her rage, too. She has a spark in her eyes and honors all her feelings. She soothes your soul with her very presence but spots your bullshit and calls you relentlessly on it.
She is conscious of her deepest needs. She takes care of herself. She is sexy. She is strong. She values her pleasure. She is physically fit. Healthy. Energetic. Centered in her values. Knowing. Intuitive. Worthy. Honoring her connection with Mother Earth. Respectful of nature. Consciously aligned with the Universe.
The Western Woman—bound to embody and restore the feminine power of a forgotten Goddess pushed into the shadows, forced for centuries to hide her power, stay silent and feel ashamed of her emotions…
Trump’s election let her lose. She is out, people – unleashed, loud, fed-up with being diminished, devalued and unheard. Now She is chanting loudly on the streets: “my body, my choice”… and “our lives matter”…
She is standing up for our rights of free speech, free expression, free choices, and the right to be her most valued, respected, powerful, authentic, feminine Self. She calls us to build a whole new system, a whole new paradigm, a whole new way of being.
The Western Woman will save the world. And it ain’t Hillary. It is the Conscious Woman who knows that her true power is in her heart. It is the Collective Consciousness of the Feminine standing in the power of Her Light.
We have work to do, people! We have a whole new world to build and to love. We have a whole new way to rise our voices in order to be heard, honored and valued as important.
Women are important—life begins with us. Our bodies are the temple in which Love becomes Life.
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the key to happiness
When I invite you to participate in my events, I also ask you to support a cause I care about—more loving interactions between people. When you choose to participate, you contribute to this cause.
By participating you are not just learning new ways of being with yourself and others. You are also contributing to the creating of a better world. You are evolving in consciousness. You participate in the process of preserving human intimacy and expanding personal interactions based on love.
Don’t come because you think you are flawed and need fixing. Come because you care! Come because you want to contribute to the creating of a world in which more people understand and care about each other and communicate in more authentic, loving ways.
Your participation matters. YOU matter! The person you interact with matters. The human connection you engage in matters. All your relationships matter. Whether you like it or not, you have impact on every person you interact with—at work, on the street, at home, or at a party. What kind of impact do you choose to have?
By joining us this weekend, you will gain new perspective on things in your life. You will begin to see more options to choose from. You can continue to influence others by connecting with them from a deep authentic place known also as your Soul.
Join us on November 4-6 and begin to create soulful connections with people around you. THIS, my dears, is the key to happiness. Because as you bring your Soul into all your interactions, you also begin to feel good about yourself. You become whole. And whole is happy.
Here is more information about this game-changing workshop: https://www.facebook.com/events/1798067677145219/
Join us.
Info for the Q & A webinar on October 12, 7-8:30pm: https://www.facebook.com/events/1592124707758477/?active_tab=highlights
Log into the Q & A webinar here: https://zoom.us/j/8020811935